you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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