This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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