I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
