Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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