he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
