My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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