this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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