I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
