Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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