The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
