do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i think my cat just said my name.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
