"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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