how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
