I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
