I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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