At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
