4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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