But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
