i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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