Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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