Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
