My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
