you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
