Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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