hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize