he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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