i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
