I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
