what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
