drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
