Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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