thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
