: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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