For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
