i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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