Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I want a musical about memes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize