i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
