this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
