Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize