he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
