dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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