i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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