My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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