I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
