There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
