how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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