I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
