her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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