Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
