So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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