I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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