omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
